Johyni 's an awful magician, real awful, just plain crap. A failure at everything he attempts to do, each trick he attempts go’s wrong, yet he still manages to survive with only minimal injuries each time.

 
But now Johyni is suffering from claustrophobia, and he wants to escape the house.

Johyni, being a professional magician thought this would be easy, as he has done many escape routines in his act. Johyni was of course forgetting the last time he tried to do an escape trick in his act, the particular trick was called cage of death, where Johyni had to escape the suspended cage before it was dropped into a pool of boiling water. Johyni however narrowly escaped death, the same could not be said for escaping the boiling water, and Johyni was hospitalized for 6 months while the burns heeled.

Unfortunately, due to lack of planning and a lack of any outside help, the only getaway vehicle available was that of a bobcat that was being used to construct the set for the new British sitcom “Guvn’a your foots up me arse”.

Unluckily for Johyni there were no lights on the bobcat, and there was very poor lighting available outside, so Johyni accidentally turned the bobcat around and smashed straight through the wall of the house. Panicked, Johyni tried to get back in the house, but was caught by the guards, who after watching Johyni for several minutes and fearing bad publicity over the escape, captured, drugged and severely beat Johyni and placed him back in the house.

Screen Grabs from the Security footage show Johyni’s attempted escape

The House is now in mourning as Elizabeth has sadly passed away, a fact that went unnoticed for four days; only the smell of her rotting corpse tipped them off, this was because of her condition which left her in a paralyzed state. Thankfully due to her timely demise, no housemate had to be evicted, so it’s not all bad…

Gari, still coping with the loss of her eye and the fact that everyone in the house is either suffering from claustrophobia, is dead or nearly dead due to liver failure, is not enjoying her time in the Horsing around house. Which considering she is one of the most hated contestants in the house, and the fact that she walks around nude and once kidnapped a family of folk singers, is hardly surprising….

Stinky, well……Stinky isn’t doing much at all. He doesn’t eat his food, and can’t actually walk anymore, utilizing his two good legs, Stinky dragged himself over from his stable to his alcohol ladened Horse trough, and now spends all of his time chugging down insane quantities of the amber fluid. Celebrity Veterinarian Dr Richard Schuit is disgusted at the fact that Stinky is still being allowed to drink. “ They should have set up the blue curtains and brought out the shotgun a long time ago, quite how the horse is still alive….i’ll never know!”

However, its not all bad news for the House, former contestant Trent, arrested for trying to kill the other housemates is back on his medication and now spends most of his time residing in Sunnydown Mental Asylum. No news has come out about first evictee Ikmael Kolspa, after he was forcibly removed from the house by S.W.A.T, after it was revealed that Ikmael had links to known Terrorist Groups.

Never has a man been more innocent...... (Photo Courtesy Al Jazzera Tv)

Sources say he is happy in his detention cell over in Guantanemo Bay.

Tune in later to see who wins the competition and is crowned Horsing Around Champion, and who is sent home!!